Frequently Asked questions...

as you can imagine people in our position get flooded day in and day out with questions, so here finally is our chance to answer some of the tricky ones we get constantly...

as a result, anyone who chooses to annoy us further with any of the questions on this page can rest safely in the knowledge of a significantly reduced lifespan as a result

What is the Moose Picnic?
It's a picnic, held regularly each year to bring together old friends and meet new ones in pleasant surroundings with food, games and (unfortunately) the occasional pervert in the bushes.

Can we have a marquee this year?
Possibly. We're planning to attempt to put it up in Cassie's backyard over the next few weeks. Thing is, we have to find a way to hold it up without the required groundpegs. This is because, as a grumpy Gardens employee once told us, you're not allowed to stick things in the ground.

Who's coming?
Who bloody knows. Only thing that's certain is that we (the organisers) will be there. Usually we expect no one to show up and we're pleasantly surprised.

Who is guy fawkes?
He was a member of the group of Roman Catholic conspirators who attempted to carry out the Gunpowder Plot. The conspirators had planned to assassinate King James I of England and VI of Scotland and all the members of both branches of the Parliament of England. To do this, the House of Lords was to be blown up during the formal opening of the 1605 session of Parliament. Guy Fawkes was primarily responsible for the latter stages of the plan's execution. He was discovered before its completion, however. Following an interrogation, Fawkes and his co-conspirators were executed for treason. His capture is commemorated in Britain with Guy Fawkes Night.

Why mooses?
... why not mooses? ...gosh!... don't be so close minded! ... who are YOU to deny mooses of this priveledge! ... what has the poor moose ever done to you to deserve this attitude ... god damn! ...

Isn't the plural moose spelt 'moose' ... not 'mooses'?
... technically ... yes ... but morally and ethically NO! ... 'mooses' sounds so much better, as opposed to 'moose' which really just raises more questions than it answers ... if someone says 'moose' how you know what exactly they're talking about ... a single moose... or a whole crowd? ... confusing ... ... also having the plural and singular being the same drags the mighty moose down to the level of sheep!

Can I donate to the Royal Melbourne Moose Protection Society?
You certainly can. We take cash and cheque donations in multiples of 100. Cheques should be made out to any one of the organisers' names. We also have a 'sponser a moose' scheme, where you pay $30 a month towards the protection and care of a moose. You will receive a photograph of your moose, monthly reports of your moose's progress, and we will attempt to cram Christianity down its throat.

I heard rumours about a pinata?
Did you really?

Is it true that Amy is going on a world tour next year to promote moose wellbeing in Romania, Mongolia and Canada?
Yes, it is true, and donations for this cause may be made on the day of the moose picnic to Amy herself, in the form of cash only. Anyone willing to act as (unpaid) pack-carrier, cook and general slave should also approach Amy on this day.

Who is Arse Man?
Arse Man was an univited guest at the picnic last year. He admittedly turned out to be harmless, but caused no small amount of amusement running about with the arse cut out of his bike shorts. Hence the name. Not a sighting we wish to repeat.


If you have any further questions that have not been answered here, please feel free to contact us at moosepicnic@yahoo.com.au
(we don't promice we'll answer it, but it may make you feel like you're being a bit more proactive)